Christmas

Christmas this year was pretty good. I watched games all day and it snowed today. It never snows on Christmas day and I didn't get any pictures. But I got some really good gifts that I wanted. I am missing my family. As I sit here alone blogging about this. I wish I could spend another Christmas with my family. I was on Facebook and saw all these pictures of my family hanging out having a good time with each other and I was filled with jealousy and sadness that I couldn't be there. The pictures should have made me happy but they really only depressed me and reminded me of what I was missing. I have to get back home to Georgia because being so far away is killing me and making me sad. Next Christmas, hopefully, I'll be spending it with my family.

Made it Through Fall Semester

I've finally recovered from fall semester (2014) to sit down and blog about it. It was one of the most intense, stressful, hardest semesters I've ever had. I had a few classes that made me nervous about taking but had no choice but to take them and get them out the way. I had a class with a professor who I've had issues with before. It was just a crazy, busy semester and it had me near nervous breakdown a couple of times. I'm not one to break that easily but I swear if this semester hadn't ended last week I would have wigged out.

Speechless....

No grand jury indictment in the Eric Garner case. These were his last words before he died. I don't even know what to say or how to react anymore. I just don't...

Black Lives Matter...

When Trayvon Martin was killed at the age of 17 years old and George Zimmerman wasn't charged I was furious, upset, disappointed that this blatant racism was taking place. I was happy when he was finally arrested and I followed the trial just like anyone else. Of course I was disappointed that he wasn't found guilty for taking the life of a child. As this case went on there were other cases surfacing like that of Jordan Davis who was gunned down by a white man in a gas station parking lot. He was also only 17 years old. Marissa Alexander fired a warning shot at her abusive husband and was sentenced to 20 years in prison. All of these cases happened in Florida and all were stand your ground cases. There was the shooting of Renisha McBride who got into a car accident and needed help. She knocked on a man's door and when he opened it he open fire, killing her. All of these cases got my blood to boiling and I was hot and angry and sad for all the people who lost their lives and their families. I was active and kept up with cases. But after this summer all of that changed. It seems as if all hell broke loose.

Reminiscing...

I was listening to a new song this morning, "My Love" by Goapele feat. Eric Benet, while I was driving to work. This song makes me want to get up and dance. It makes me feel sunny and happy. It's a brand new song that I just listened to for the first time on Monday but it somehow reminds of my Grandma's house. It reminds me of those sunny, summer days where I would sit in the window and watch the world outside.

My Nephew

I love this little guy so much. I never thought the love would be this strong. I'd do anything for him. I thought since he was just a nephew and not my child I wouldn't feel as strongly as I do for him. He's a cutie patootie!

This is one of my Favorite Quotes/Poems

I first read this when I was in a restaurant when I was a kid and I loved it. I thought it was a good quote and it matched what I knew about God. As I read it again today I remember the hard times I'm having and realizing that God is here and helping me and I can't give up on my faith. It's just hard now but I know it's always darkest before the dawn. And God will be there every step of the way.

Winter is Officially Here

It is officially wintertime in Utah. It snowed yesterday and it was so cold. I'm not a big fan of winter so right now I want to go into hibernation and not come back out until it's hot again. I want to hole up in my house until the sun shines bright and hot. Oh well, I drink hot chocolate now :P

Box Braids: Long Bob Style

This is how I think I want to get my hair done next. I don't like long braids very much. Short hair will frame my face better anyway and they may last longer. And will be cheaper. These styles are so cute!

Ugh, School, Work, Life!

So school has become increasingly harder to deal with lately. I had to drop a class which now means I won't be finished in Spring 2015 like I planned. I am seriously considering just dropping out. I don't want to deal with homework, teachers, and the horrible ordeal of trying to find a parking spot for two more semesters. There is so much to do and I'm struggling with my classes this semester. My motivation and drive have slipped down. I'm trying to find it but it's not working. I think I just need a vacation to see my family and close, close friends. I think I'm just too far away and staying here another year means another year away from them. I still love ASL (American Sign Language) but the other classes feel like "what's the point." I also don't like what I do for work and feel like I'm not moving forward.*Sigh* I'll figure it out. Okay, rant over.

Surgery was a Success!!!

I went to the hospital on Wednesday morning (4/30) and I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be. I checked in and it didn’t take that long before I was taken back to my room. The nurse who took my blood pressure and inserted the IV was really nice and friendly. She made it easy to not be as nervous. After a while I was given some medicine to relax while they gave me a nerve block. The needle was huge but the block was worth it. My leg stayed numb for 24-hours. It took a while longer before they wheeled me back to surgery because we had to wait on the doctor to finish with his other surgery.

Big Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow’s the big day! Finally time time for my surgery. I’ve stressed myself up so much now I’m calm and just ready for this to be over. Ready to start the recovery process and healing this ankle.

Finals

Finals are killing me. I hate the end of the semester because of finals. I had to write a 10 page paper, revise a story, study for a final exam, and remember all the signs I've learned in ASL for our final exam. It's going to be a long few days.

Pre-Surgery Thoughts

With the pain I’m in right now, I’m so ready for surgery now. The nerves are at a minimum now and I’m ready for the surgery to be over and on to the recovery process. I just keep reminding myself that a year from now I’ll be able to walk and run and sit with no pain (fingers-crossed) so it’ll be all worth it. I’m getting anxious and impatient. I’m ready for it to be April 30th.

Faith

I was watching TV and I heard something that resonated with me. It was a show where this preacher was talking and she said if your relationship isn’t right with God then it’ll mess with all your other relationships and it’s true. Whenever I was doubting God or lamenting why I was in a certain situation and God wasn’t doing what I thought he should do my relationships with others suffered. I wasn't as nice or trusting as I should have been. You have to make sure you keep your relationship with God right because it’s the one you need the most. Being able to talk to Him and believe in him is something that I think everyone needs. It gives you a sense of comfort and trust that you wouldn’t have if you don’t have that relationship.

Just Some Thoughts

So I called the doctor’s office to confirm the recovery process after my surgery. Because…well that’s just me. That’s just how I am. I like to know every step and process so that I’m less nervous.
Anyway, the nurse told me that I’ll be in a cast for two weeks then non-weight bearing in a boot for four weeks. I’ll have to wear the boot all the time even when I sleep, which to me sucks. After six weeks of minimal weight-bearing or moving around much I’ll start physical therapy.

End of Semester Stress

The end of the semester is always stressful for me. No matter how prepared I am I still get nervous and stressed out. I think it’s the feeling of everything is due and it gets so intense because you have test and assignments are due plus you know finals are coming up. I’m trying to remember to take deep breaths and not panic too much but it’s not easy.

It's Official

I went to the doctor in the beginning of this month and it’s now official: I need surgery and am going forward with it. I have scheduled my surgery for April 30th. I am really nervous about it because I’ve had surgery on the same ankle before and worry about it not being necessary like the other one. But the constant pain and inability to do anything lets me know that something is seriously wrong with my ankle. Six years of pain is enough. I have to do this surgery and hope and pray that everything turns out okay.

Pain, Pain Go Away and Don’t Come Back Another day

I’ve been dealing with ankle pain for SIX years and I’m getting tired of it. I went to lunch with a friend yesterday then went to this performance for my ASL class and I am paying for it today. My ankles been killing me today. I decided to wash the little dishes in the kitchen and that was a big mistake. I just want to be able to do want to do the normal things. I’m trusting in God that this next surgery is the one that gets me pain free. Fingers crossed.