Black Lives Matter...

When Trayvon Martin was killed at the age of 17 years old and George Zimmerman wasn't charged I was furious, upset, disappointed that this blatant racism was taking place. I was happy when he was finally arrested and I followed the trial just like anyone else. Of course I was disappointed that he wasn't found guilty for taking the life of a child. As this case went on there were other cases surfacing like that of Jordan Davis who was gunned down by a white man in a gas station parking lot. He was also only 17 years old. Marissa Alexander fired a warning shot at her abusive husband and was sentenced to 20 years in prison. All of these cases happened in Florida and all were stand your ground cases. There was the shooting of Renisha McBride who got into a car accident and needed help. She knocked on a man's door and when he opened it he open fire, killing her. All of these cases got my blood to boiling and I was hot and angry and sad for all the people who lost their lives and their families. I was active and kept up with cases. But after this summer all of that changed. It seems as if all hell broke loose.

It all started with the case of Eric Garner who was killed on the streets in New York by the police. He was put into a chokehold and when he told them he couldn't breathe they did not ease up. They kept at it until he died. Then came the Michael Brown shooting. Reports were coming out that he had his hands up and was surrendering when he was shot over eight times. He was 18 years old and was going off to college soon. While I was happy to see my people stand up to this injustice and demand justice for this young man by this time I was numb and really didn't know how to feel. Michael Brown was killed this past August and since it happened I've been trying to get my words together to say something anything about how I feel whether it is a post on Facebook or a story or a paper or just in my journal but the words won't come.

While I was gathering my thoughts more reports of young black men and women being killed by the police surfaced. One man was shot in Walmart after the police were called because he was holding a toy gun. A couple of young men were killed in St. Louis not that far from where Mike Brown was gunned down. A young man was killed right here in Utah, in Saratoga Springs. Another man in LA . Another man in North Carolina. Another in Louisiana and this was a 14 year old child. And recently 12-year old Tamir Rice was shot in the chest because he had a toy gun that he pulled out and a rookie cop killed him. Its so many cases right now of cops shooting and killing unarmed young black men and women and I don't know what to say or feel.

How much injustice must a race of people be subjected to before they become dejected? How many of our young people have to die before we just hump our shoulders and aren't even surprised? I don't know what I am supposed to do, how am I supposed to help? What is it I can do so that not one more young person looses their life at the hands of a cop or some overzealous white person? It's hard to not feel cynical and numb. When the news broke that Darren Wilson would not even be indicted for killing an unarmed teenager I wasn't surprised. I would have been more surprised if he had been indicted. I understand the anger and frustration that the Black community is feeling but I can't seem to get my feelings on board. I'm just numb and wondering why I'd ever bring children into this world.

RIP Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Renisha McBride, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Jordan Davis, VonDerrit D. Myers Jr., Darrien Hunt, Tanisha Anderson, Cameron Tillman, and the many more who have lost their lives at the hands of the police or others who have take the law into their own hands. I will keep their families in my prayers and hope they find justice and peace.